Wednesday, 28 March 2012

Road to Recovery, Riot Police & Chicken-napping!

As the title suggests yesterday was QUITE a day. It started perfectly well with this beautiful weather we are all having here in sunny Derbyshire. I set off to pick Bailey's friend M up to come over for the day, we usually do this fortnightly but things have been busy so they haven't seen each other for a while. We met at the farm, which is about halfway between both our houses and I stopped the car to say Hi only to find it wouldn't start again two minutes later! Its the first time I have ever had to ring breakdown and they said someone should be with us within an hour. So I took the children around the farm, thank goodness for inner city farms and sunny days! There was a cafe and a playground so the children had a great time! Whilst we were waiting for breakdown, a chicken jumped out of its pen and the children saw it being stolen by an old lady! The children told a staff member and a chase of sorts went on to try and find said lady. At the same time our recovery van turned up and the car started without any problem! I felt rather stupid, I had tried it again whilst I was waiting but got nothing. Typical. So I apologised to my friend, who had very kindly waited at the farm with us, Bailey was disappointed not to have M over but I didn't want to risk getting her all the way home and then not get her back in time for her dentist appointment. I set off up a rather large hill, Sheffield is full of them! Only to find myself approaching a busy crossroads and having the car die rather dramatically. Arrrggghhhh!! I rang the recovery again and they said they would be with me again shortly, meanwhile a police riot van came passed me, turned round and then pulled up behind me, 3 policemen got out to help me push the car a bit more out of the way. Note to self-power steering is a must, so never buy a car without it! The steering wouldn't work because the car was dead. The police were very helpful. People kept stopping to stare though and it was very embarrassing. I have never been pulled over by police or towed home by recovery-so two firsts for me yesterday! The children thought it was FABULOUS though and announced it was officially the best day ever when we got inside the recovery truck.

When the recovery driver said "well everyday is a school day" I'm pretty sure I did an inward groan as I began to explain that the children were home educated. Needless to say by the end of the 20 minute drive home he knew all about the merits of home education! And told me what lovely children I had, I don't need telling but its always nice to hear a stranger tell you! We are still left wondering what happened to the chicken though especially as Cordelia said the same woman came in and took another one whilst the staff were looking for her and we were with the recovery van......

Mega Blocks Monday!

You may remember a while bag this blog post? Bailey took part in a Mega Blocks competition and on Monday he received this in the post:

He was thrilled to bits! Not bad as this set is around £12 to buy in the shops. Off he went to build it, actually its a nice distraction from all his revision. He hasn't done much building of late, so it was really lovely to see. He will definitely be taking part in next years competition....!

NEC Craft & Sewing Fair

On Saturday we went along with my MIL and her friend to the NEC in Birmingham to the craft and hobby fair. My MIL and I went along last year and thought it was really good so this year we took the girls with us too. I knew they would enjoy all the different stalls and knew Piper would enjoy the catwalk show they do. We were up and out early, which was a good job because the weather was pretty horrendous on the way down there. It was really foggy and I was glad not to be driving for a change! Last year we went on the Sunday and realised we should have come on the Saturday because lots of things had sold out! It was really busy with lots of different displays around, showing you how to use different techniques but most of them were booked by about 10am so we didn't get to try anything. I was on the hunt for new material, as I'm just getting into the whole world of sewing really, the material does work out cheaper I think but its not as cheap as you think. Its easy to believe that making your own clothes is cheaper than buying but it really isn't, by the time you take into consideration the cost of your material, cotton and zips/buttons its probably more expensive BUT the satisfaction of creating something unique and yourself is well worth the effort in my opinion. I took the girls to watch the catwalk show and we managed to get front row seats, it was so exciting and with the music the atmosphere is really cool, made me think how exciting it would be seating front row at London Fashion Week watching Chanel! Cordelia took lots of photos on my phone of the models and was fortunate enough to get to chat quickly to one of them after the show-she was thrilled! Some of the dresses were made by 14-16 year olds at college, I couldn't believe the standard of them, they were fabulous! Piper found it very inspiring (and to be honest so did I!).

 These costumes were all theatrical costumes:

I loved this dress!

 There was even some handbags shown on the catwalk that were made using bubble wrap and weed suppressor!
I loved the fabric on this stall and ended up buying a few pieces of fabric from them but I HAD to have the swallow and Ships material as shown on this bag. I don't know if its all of our Swallows and Amazons reading at the moment but I could just see myself on the beach somewhere this year holding that bag so I bought it! I have just enough material for a beach bag with each material hopefully! I also bought a fab material with birds on, I thought it would make a fab skirt but now I'm thinking a bag...or maybe both??

It was a great day out and I would highly recommend it to any crafters out there. We were shattered on the way home, (in fact I was shattered for all of Sunday too!) but it was worth it and we came out of there all full of ideas. Piper bought herself an MDF box to decorate, Cordelia bought some quarters of material and lots of buttons, she also got some beads for jewellery making which my MIL bought for her birthday next month. I also got a fantastic pair of knitting needles, (will have to put a photo on later) can't wait to use them-or carry them around in my new swallows/ships bag!

Friday, 23 March 2012


After the park yesterday and a tea of inside out pizzas! Nannan came to sit whilst I went to Sew in the City for my first week of the dress making course I'd signed up for. I was really nervous because its not very often I go anywhere alone, I really am not even good at walking by myself without having the children around me! It was very odd going in Sew in the City alone too, I have only been there for Piper's birthday party and the home ed workshops I help out with, on all occasions with the girls! It was really good though and I got talking to some really lovely people. I even managed to learn some new things! Not sure yet if I will manage a whole dress out of it but you never know. Its good sometimes to do something for yourself-what have you done lately just for you???

Frogs, Newts, Scooter ramps & side swings

Yesterday promised more good weather (although it didn't really turn up until we were driving home!) and so we set off to meet some friends. I mentioned about the scooter ramps to Ruben and he said they were not for him and would be too scary, we got out of the car, on the path and he scooted straight for them! And LOVED them!
 Meanwhile the girls busied themselves enjoying the "gym area". These outdoor gyms seem to have become rather popular in Sheffield parks? Really not for me, my exercise is best behind closed doors as I'm far too clumsy and uncoordinated! The girls loved it though and kept counting up to a hundred on each piece of equipment.
 Then over to the woodland playground, even Bailey had a go on the course! Nearly missed him on the photo though, he likes being photographed about as much as me, so quite rare for both of us to appear on the blog within days of each other then!!
 You may have noticed that they are clambering around with nets? That's for the pond dipping, we always catch some cool stuff here and the children were very happy to see the water is still very blue.
 Within about 30 seconds Cordelia had caught two frogs she named Tilly and Trevor. They were a bit on the slimy side for me and I'm sure they were jumping at me!
 A baby smooth newt, so titchy and cute. Really had to stop Cordelia from sneaking he/she home though, she was desperate to keep it as a pet!
 Back to the exercise equipment to break it up a bit!
 Another frog-this one Cordelia named Fred
 Ruben caught one, finally, after a long wait watching his sister repeatedly catch them! Patience is a virtue Ruben. The poor frog was probably suffering from whiplash after he ran around the pond with him in his net! He jumped out of the net just after I took this photo and we watched him find the pond, splash in and watched how long and fast his legs could swim off. Slimy and a bit gross out of water but rather fascinating in it.
 Frog spawn, very cool up close. Again they wanted to bring it home but its a bit of a nightmare to get fresh water for it and the last time we had them, they ate each other and then just as the last one grew legs the cat ate it, so as was thinking NOT this time.
 A slightly larger newt, they were hiding under the moss on the floor of the pond so were tricky to find. Last time we caught them they were quite large so it was nice to see the baby ones. Be great to come back again soon and see how much bigger they get
After a mammoth picnic lunch, the children have eaten so much this week, especially as they have been outdoors. All that energy needs to be replenished, clearly. Ruben and his friend D had a great game, not sure what they were playing but it involved lots of running around, jumping on benches, jumping off benches, transformers and pretend guns.We went back to the playground where the girls had fun with their friend J's skipping rope, we all watched little J doing some hand knitting-very impressive and then a last play on the scooter ramps and exercise side swings. Bailey and his friend J meanwhile walked several times around the park, discussing all sorts by the sound of it. So great to see all the children out enjoying the fresh air with their friends! When we got home the girls went on Animal Jam, Bailey had some Xbox time whilst Ruben and I played several games of Connect 4 and he got out Cordelia's Cubal sets and created a duck and a swan:

Loving how much calmer and more chilled out we all are for lots of fresh air! Keeping us all busy whilst hubby is away, we are all missing him lots and will be very glad to have him back on Friday!

Thursday, 22 March 2012

Lost Mondays & Herman the German

Ooooopppps I totally forgot to write about Monday, sigh, I'm getting so forgetful. Which is why I normally try to write blog posts more frequently! On Monday Ruben had a play date over at his bestest friends The Penders (if you haven't checked out Bella's blog yet- do because its rather lovely and she has some great links!). As I had my stepdad's car this week I have made sure to be out in it as much as possible, just in case our car is still not 100% next week! I dropped hubby off at a meeting first and then dropped Ruben off with a very excited R & M. Its so lovely that he has the opportunity to go somewhere without the girls and just have some "boy" time. He has never been anywhere for a playdate by himself and its really a big deal for both of us. After, I came home and made lunch for Bailey and the girls and sorted out a mock paper for Bailey's revision. I can't believe how quickly the exam is coming around now! He has done so well with all the course work but the mock exams are proving much trickier. I think he can do it, and he really is quite calm about it all, but its still such a massive deal! I think I had really zoned out of the whole structured learning system and its very hard getting my learning-autonomous brain around it all. But then its not about me is it? The girls had singing in the afternoon, so I got to sit still for a whole 40 minutes and chat to friends! I also got to bring home Herman, the German Friendship cake. Hubby seriously was not impressed and if it hadn't been for the fact he was away this week then I'm sure he would have put Herman into the bin. It seems VERY popular with home educators at the moment and its bizarre to think that the cake we have on the side could possibly be related to all the Herman's I keep noticing elsewhere! After singing I picked Ruben back up, he'd had a fab time and I could see he was shattered. Only an hour of Skylanders was played surprisingly (maybe now he has his own the novelty is wearing off slightly?) and the rest of the time, when he wasn't eating, he was playing scientists! Testing shark's teeth on various paper strengths! Go autonomous learning! He managed to fall asleep in the car whilst we were supposed to be picking hubby up, 45 minutes later we realised we were totally lost and ended up coming home without hubby, who after a delayed train came home a whole two hours after we got back in. If there is one thing I wish to NOT pass on to the children, its my sense of direction, or sheer lack of it.......

My Little Swallows

It has been SO good to be outdoors so much of late, I've realised how much we need the fresh air and exercise, we are all feeling so much better, mood wise for being outdoors. i think we are a family who need plenty of outdoor time. My head is so full of activities to do throughout Spring and Summer-I really can't wait. We have been so busy with friends recently, we have barely had a free day in the last few weeks. We are so fortunate to have such a lovely group of friends, (we don't take it for granted!). Tuesday afternoon we met up with friends at Magna Science park. It really is one of the best playgrounds locally and the first time we have been able to use it this year. I have been reading Ruben -Arthur Ransom's "Swallows and Amazons", Piper has read it several times and its my mother in laws favourite, I read it as part of my Open University Children's Literature course a couple of years ago and enjoyed it too. I was talking to Ruben about it last week and suggested that he might like it, so we picked up a copy from the library. We have been reading a chapter each evening, (when we have managed to be home in time anyway!). He is really enjoying it and found these boats in the playground and announced he was sailing Swallow!

 Who says mummy's are too old for slides? If you can fit your bum down down the slide (just!) then why not?

It was so funny when two school classes came running and screaming into the playground fresh off the coach. The children's faces were such a picture! We had to explain that whilst we can go there as often as we like, this would probably the only school trip for those children. They still did not appreciate the screaming chaos though #welovehomeed. Bec and I even managed a freshly made (by us!) cappuccino in mugs! Result of taking fancy sachets (me) flask of hot water and mugs (Bec). We are just #toocoolforschool.

Thursday, 15 March 2012

Science experiments, motorways & Mapominoes

Today has been quite a long one. I had a fantastic response to my blog post yesterday on Twitter, which was lovely. I wasn't expecting it. I felt quite emotional after writing it which just shows what good therapy writing can be! Anyway, back to today, I was up at 3.30am after a terrible nights sleep to take my mum and stepdad to the airport. My stepdad very kindly loaned me the use of his car for the next week, I'm extremely grateful. The drive on the motorway however was quite horrrendous and some of the worst conditions I have ever drove in. The fog was so bad I could barely see and on the way down the M1 we passed a horrible lorry crash north bound. This meant that my drive back alone was a nightmare, visibility was minimal and I had to find a way around the Motorway junction closure. I did but it wa snot the best drive I've ever had. As we were lucky enough to have the use of the car we managed to get over to see our very good friends over at 4kids2guineapigs, (although Bec I think you should rename the blog given the pesky rabbit you now own too!). After a bit of free play we then had lunch and Bec had prepared some great science experiments. First we did a tongue tasting experiment, where we had to put different tastes on different sections of our tongue to see which part of our tongue reacted the most. We drew diagrams first so we could write down whereabouts we tasted-lemon, vinegar, coffee and sugar water. Lots of face pulling ensued!! Then the children mixed vinegar, washing up liquid and bicarbonate of soda to see what kind of reaction they got. There were only the girls interested in this one as the boys had ran off to play dinosaurs and shoot guns! Here are some photo's:

It was very messy but LOTS of fun!!

Then Piper and I, drew pictures with lemon juice on paper, they waited for them to dry and were supposed to put bicarb over the top but we ran out of time as by now they were all in the garden playing with the guinea pigs. Its harder than you think trying to put a lead on one you know! They found lots of woodlice (ewww, hate woodlice, they are far too crunchy for me) and ladybirds and made them swimming pools, who would have thought that they'd make such good swimmers? They played so well together, we are really lucky to have such special friends. Whilst the children then came back inside Bec and I managed a cup of hot tea and a game of Maponimoes, she very kindly let me win as it was my first time playing this game. Its really quite good and very educational so will be looking out for it on Amazon. By the time we got home it was tea time, showers, girls are on Animal Jam, Ruben has had a chapter of our current read "Swallows and Amazons" (both the girls have read it too) and had a very early night due to the fact he is completely shattered and tomorrow is his favourite day of the week because of Friday Group!

Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Why we home educate

I'm not one for regrets, life is too precious and we only get one shot. I believe you make the best decisions you can with the information and resources available to you at that time. Nearly half of my life has been spent being a mother, if you ask my mother she will tell you my whole childhood was spent preparing to be a mummy. When I had my first son, nearly fourteen years ago, I was not aware of any other path other than school. He started nursery at three and a half, just a few months before I had my third child and second daughter. He loved nursery, he had a small group of close friends and was/is such a friendly, kind, polite boy. By the time Piper arrived at nursery a year or so after Bailey she was very familiar with it and they with her. She has always been very shy and quite a thinker, but was extremely popular at nursery and school, girls used to flock around her, I think its because she was very easy going and laid back. Cordelia was the same when she started nursery, all the staff knew her from her siblings and she has a very charming character so its quite impossible not to love her! There were things I wasn't happy with in regards to school, obviously I missed them all terribly but I wasn't happy with how cold some of the teachers were, the SATS I just thought were a total waste of time, bullying (although my children were never really bullied), all the homework and the fact my children went in school happy and smiley and often came out tired and not being able to remember what they had been doing all day long. I think this seemed worse for the girls; Piper was a real shadow of herself in that she came home quite withdrawn and tired and would just want to sit in front of the tv sucking her thumb, it wasn't until nearly bed time she would come round and want to play. She often had really bad mood swings that would last a few weeks and it was like all of this negative energy coming from her, it was pretty hard to deal with at times. Especially when you have a child that is so laid back most of the time. She was in the G & T group at school, I had no idea what this meant when a teaching assistant told me, but apparently its short for Gifted and Talented. I remember how horrified I was at the thought someone was labelling my 5 year old daughter, and what did that mean for my younger two children coming through the school system? Piper told me about a year after we began home educating that she used to spend ages with her arm up asking for help, but that because she was on the "clever" table (yes this exists too) no one had time. When Cordelia began school her teacher, who had also known Bailey and Piper, quite simply adored her, so much in fact that she kept her in her class when she moved up to Year 1. I liked the teacher a lot but was quite appalled one parent's evening to find that my 5 year old daughter was helping toilet train a boy in her class with special needs. I mean, even now after nearly 5 years I'm still quite speechless about that. I'm not sure what she expected me to say to that-should I be pleased that my youngest daughter was toilet training another child? I don't think so. When Bailey moved across to the Junior school, which was at the other side of the playground, he had a really tough time. Before Year 3 he had always happily gone into school, he enjoyed it there, had friends and was always very academic. But something changed my very happy, cheerful little boy into a depressed seven year old. He used to run out of school after me crying, once he ran across a road to reach me. He didn't know why he didn't want to go, he wasn't being bullied, he had lots of friends. I spoke to his teachers and they had no clue why this was happening, this went on for 4-6 months. Every morning would be the same, I was an emotional wreck, he was depressed at home and talked about death a lot. He had not had anyone close to him die, this came out of nowhere. When I think about that now I have to fight back tears, I wish I had known about HE then and saved us both a lot of heartache and grief. By the time Ruben began at nursery I was feeling quite disillusioned  about the whole situation. He didn't enjoy nursery and found the children quite mean and it was very "clicky". In October 2007, I was reading a newspaper at my mother in laws,  when I saw an article about a dad who had taken his younger daughter out of school to home educate. It sounded wonderful. Hubby read it first and brought it to my attention, I think in that instant we both knew this was for us. The six of us had always been very close, I think that's because the children are close in ages and we had always spent a lot of time with our children taking them places, talking to them, spending lots of quality time together. It was rare that the children slept out at grandparents or things like that because both sets of parents worked, and they were also still quite young as grandparents go and had busy social lives of their own! We were never bothered much about having nights out or "time off" the children. I'm not judging those that do either, we were just happy to be together. By December 2007 the children were de-registered at school, I initially kept Ruben at nursery at first as he had just made friends and was happy to go but it didn't last very long. The stares in the playground were pretty horrific and it was like I had grown two heads! One day out of the blue as Ruben was putting on his shoes for nursery he said quite simply "I want to stay and do school at home with the other kids" this still makes me laugh. Its lovely that he has never been to school, I wish the others hadn't but I think its made them realise how lucky they are to be home educated. Bailey for one would never want to set foot in school again. I'm fortunate that my hubby works hard so we can manage on one wage whilst being able to spend so much time with our children. For me, this is my career. I can't think of anything I would rather be doing at all. I love the freedom the children have to decide what things interest them, what they feel like doing, how happy they are, how much pleasure I get from listening to them play. I love how confident they are in themselves, how happily they tell anyone who asks why they are not in school that they are home educated and how wonderful it is, I love the interesting and varied people we have met along the way, the fantastic friendships we all have now because of it and I know that for us we could never go back through the school gates. On a day-to-day basis, I would say we have our own routines of what we want to do. Home educating can be as busy or as simple as you allow it. Sometimes we join in lots of activities and home ed trips with other home educating families, other times we do things on our own. You have to find what works best for you. You could do several things a day 5/7 days a week if you wanted! For us I've found it best to read the children, if we do lots of groups and visits it can get a bit too much like school and that's just not for us any more. We maybe needed that more at first when we were finding our feet with HE life but I'm confident enough to go off by myself with the children now and we can do our own thing. We have a wide group of friends now from all over and we have plenty of play dates/park trips and occasional visits. We have a group on Fridays close by that is the pinnacle of Ruben's week, the girls have singing choir on Monday afternoons, which they love, the singing teacher is a lovely home educating mum too. Bailey has made some fab HE friends and he goes off to the cinema and meets up with them. Its a very wonderful lifestyle.  When the children talk of their own future children, none of them say anything about "school" being involved, its always home education. I think that speaks for itself.

This post was written as part of The Home Education Blogging Carnival. I hope this is helpful to you MotherScuffer x Click the link below to find out more
The Home Education Blogging Carnival

Skylanders this and Skylanders that...

Oh no now Cordelia has jumped on to the Skylander train, even changing her birthday list from Monster High dolls to Skylander figure packs. Sigh, my children are so very fickle, they get that from me I suppose!! At least it is motivating them into doing more than just playing the game-here they are drawing pictures of them and seeing which ones to collect next so there is reading going off there too..
 Ruben continued his drawing session which is rather lovely to see
 Whilst Bailey and Cordelia had a game of Lord of the Rings Risk, a family favourite.

Meanwhile, Piper and I were in my attic bedroom doing some sewing, we managed to make both her and Cordelia a summer skirt each and also start work on a Barbie quilt. After tea we took advantage of the evening still being light after tea and took the dog for a walk. Cordelia found some strange black looking fungi.
 Meanwhile Ruben was busy "mining" for what I'm not sure but the boy loves a stick and some mud.

Only a 50 minute walk tonight but that takes our total of walks in the last 4 days to nearly 7 miles! So it is definitely Spring as far as I'm concerned!

Tuesday, 13 March 2012

Great Excitement on the Best of Days...

This morning started with an early delivery of Ruben's new Skylander's game. I'm not even going to begin to describe the excitement it caused by arriving a day early. I'm so glad it did though because tomorrow could have been a nightmare! Bonus of having a big brother became evident this morning when he was required to wire up said new game. In fact, it caught the attention of all four of them! A very rare occurrence these days. Peace was enjoyed for a rather long 40 minutes before we got ready to meet friends.
 Leaving the exciting world of Skylanders back home we went to a local nature reserve. Its very busy here at a weekend and we haven't been in a long while, we used to live within walking distance of it and think we got a little bored of it. Not today though, we had lovely company with my friend K and her two lovely children M and A and the most beautiful sunny day. The second day in a row to start with mystery (the kids used to call foggy days mystery days) weather and then clear to reveal blue skies and sunshine. The children took their pond dipping nets and her opportunity to test them in the lake. Sadly not finding anything at all but Cordelia did manage to ruin a perfectly good pair of snow boots by wading into the water after a broken net, she was worried a swan might try and eat it.......

 Ruben managed to find his obligatory stick
Afterwards we went back to my friends for a cup of tea and a play, which was lovely despite Ruben's need to get home for more Skylanders fun. On the way home the car broke down!! Managed to get it started again but was very nerve wracking and not a lot of fun! Now not sure what will happen with said car, sigh. I have no luck with cars. After tea hubby and Ruben cut the grass in the back garden, which will make it so much easier when the children want to play outside, they also had a little fire as we are still sorting through some of our garage rubbish!

Sunday, 11 March 2012

Beautiful Sundays

Friday was so busy again but I managed to get Ruben to have an afternoon siesta after a busy group in the morning. We had tears first thing when his best buddy R was sick and not able to make group (Hope your feeling better now R!), After calming him down I managed to get him to draw R a picture to pass on to his little brother M. I thought it was rather sweet how he did a picture of R with Spyro (There both huge Skylander fans!). He cheered up at group after a bit but R's absence and also Bella's was missed!

 After an afternoon nap and an early tea we got ready to go to a lecture at Sheffield University. It was all about earthquakes, volcanoes and tectonic plates. We got there a bit early but the place was still packed and seats were not easily found! We ended up sitting in two groups of three. To be honest, I was really quite disappointed in the talk and it really brought home to me how glad I am that my children don't have to sit in classrooms being talked at for several hours a day. It is very uninspiring. I think you need to make things like volcanoes and Earthquakes much more visual. The short video clip we were shown was of the volcano eruption in Iceland in 2010, it was ok but I'm sure he could have shown the children more. He waved around some rocks at the front of the stage and also a plastic bottle of ash from said volcano but still he could have been showing us some rocks from the bottom of his garden for all we know! I'm sure they were whatever he said but still I thought it was very dull, the children were bored and uninspired. The reception afterwards was really crowded and ran out of drinks after 10 minutes so we called it a night as by then Ruben was really tired and all the children were thirsty. I was tired in the afternoon too and considered not attending but sometimes these things surprise you and sometimes not. Saturday we took the children to the playground at Poolsbrook, Daddy played on the swings whilst I managed to run twice around the lake! My running is steadily improving :) The afternoon was spent chilling out whilst hubby, Bailey and Cordelia played a huge game of Warhammer. Today we woke early to an attic room full of warm sunshine and took the children out for an early walk in the woods. Four miles later we were back home. I am loving the Spring being upon us. Cordelia made a Red Velvet Cake for when my mother in law and her sister, the children's Great Aunt (even though she is only 8 years older than their daddy!) came to visit. Piper was happy as we talked lots about collectible dolls! The cake went down well with everyone!

 Cordelia found this recipe all by herself on the internet, it used cup-size measurements
 We had to add red food colouring but think we may have got our measurement wrong as it wasn't red
 Mixing the dry ingredients and the wet ingredients together
Before cooking it looked a lot like raspberry purée (or sick...)
Recipe was for cream cheese but we were out so we made vanilla buttercream
And the finished cake....