Tuesday, 13 December 2011

Its not always smiles and candy canes......

Well because some days it just isn't. Today has been one of those days, I'm thankful really because there aren't many of these kinds of days and I do think a lot of it is to do with this time of year. I love Christmas, truly I do BUT it does not behave in the way it should. The excitement and build up is great but I think halfway through I begin to feel some kind of pressure to be the perfect Christmas mommy with perfect Christmas, film-style children and the fact is that just doesn't happen. With two birthdays near/in December too expectations are even higher than usual! And sometimes being a perfectionist can work against you. I don't moan too much on my blog because that's not really what it exists for (that's what my other blog is for!) but I hope I don't come across as a smug-mum either because neither are true. I struggle too, I have s**t days too and wonder what on earth I am doing! I felt like this earlier today after our disastrous candy canes, and wondered whether I really am capable to be everything to everyone all the time, its more than a full time job its a 24 hour, 7 days a week, 365 days a year job with very little help. So really I should give myself a break because no one else is going to but I'm a perfectionist and I have super, super, miles high expectations not of anyone else but myself. Rarely do I reach them as I've stacked them way too high, I doubt anyone could reach them actually. Today I have really struggled with my eldest daughter's moody behaviour, despite knowing its her hormones and pre-birthday excitement, doesn't help when she walks off halfway through conversations if she isn't going to get her own way, slams doors etc.. And an 8 year old who has an attention span of a good 2 seconds and doesn't want to do anything I suggest. I've reached a point today where I have decided autonomy just isn't working for us. My children need more structure, despite all these amazing autonomous home edders I read about, it just isn't for us. So I'm planning on weaning us ever so slowly into some Charlotte Mason time-wise structure e.g. short bursts of different topics, I'm hoping this will build until maybe we will come back to autonomy. I realised today (whilst making pizza dough) that you can have the same ingredients every time but it still comes out slightly different each time you make it, that's how it is with children. Its the same things every time but out come four different children who need different ways of being parented because they each come with their own needs, abilities and characters. I'm glad of it and not a day goes by without me being thankful for these amazingly smart, articulate, funny, super-smashing children that we have created but that doesn't mean that each day doesn't come with its own set of challenges, because it does. I'm not perfect and neither are they so on days like this I need to remember that and give myself a break.........Anyway what have we done today

Made candy canes which went a bit wrong to be honest but if you don't try you just don't know.


 


Helped Cordelia make her brother a glasses case for Christmas with the sewing machine.


Done some Christmas activities, including getting Ruben to have a go at his first word search, drawing a Robin and I even relented and signed him up for Reading Eggs. I'm a little skeptical about it but we'll see....



Took Bailey, Piper and Cordelia to pick up their new glasses. They are all very excited getting new ones and this is Cordelia's first pair so she is super excited, sadly Ruben is feeling rather left out that he has neither glasses or a case with frogs on. That's what happens when you always make sure everyone has equal stuff, always. Hot chocolates with squirty cream seemed to numb the pain for him ever so slightly.......

6 comments:

  1. What's great about home-ed is you can change course as and when you need to; you don't have to stick to stuff that doesn't seem to be working. We flit back and forth all the time and I think it's par for the course with 4 children. Hope tomorrow is a better day x

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  2. I know those days and I agree about winter and Christmas etc x x

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  3. oh i can so relate! I have this vision of perfection and some times the boys do not help me for fill it..."don't you want to do this lovely activity i have planned for you ???" lol
    But then i have to remind myself that perfect actually is what i have everyday! My boys,my family, the goods and the bads!
    Hugs x

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  4. Hi Angela.
    Sorry for delay in replying and Thank you for your comment. You were right and tomorrow was a better day! x

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  5. Thank you Pip, yes you are right, sometimes I wish the children could unschool me and my ideas of what is perfect and what counts for the perfect education! Thank you for taking the time to comment xx

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